River of Life

“And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb.” Revelation 22:1

Father’s Day, our wedding anniversary, my husband’s birthday--three special days within four calendar days. My grief feels too heavy to bear while I try to focus on normal activities. If I stay at home and pity myself I will be even more miserable. So I’ve come away, to remember and to grieve. How thankful I am my family understands my desire to come away from the clutter of everyday life and spend some time alone with God.

By the shores of the Susquehanna River I remember the many times my husband and I went camping together, how many times we came away to be together. I am so lonely without him, yet the memories of him are incredibly real here is this peaceful setting, where I am undistracted by all the work waiting to be done. Some articles of his are left in our camper; two shirts, a folded handkerchief, his shaving gel, his Old Spice,. One whiff brings a flood of memories and tears. I use his handkerchief to wipe them away, but they just keep coming, as I remember the times he offered me a handkerchief to dry my tears. When my grief threatens to overwhelm me I remember how he died, how his eyes sparkled and gazed in rapture.

Maybe even now, as I camp by this river he is sitting by the crystal clear river over there. “Shall we Gather at the River” I remember the beloved old hymn and I have to smile. I am camping by the very river that inspired Robert Lowry to write that hymn, the beautiful Susquehanna.

Dear Lord, please comfort me as I grieve by this peaceful river. And someday, may our family circle be unbroken by the crystal river over there.

~Brenda Weaver