~by Brenda Weaver
With each arrival and passing of the anniversary of a loved one’s death the grieving person wonders: What do I do with my grief now? Do I pack it up and put it away?
Some of our questions arise from our perceptions of what other people think. We think they expect us to be “done” or “over” grief. True, life does move on. But the person who has experienced deep grief comes to the realization that grief may never be completely done. Shreds of it may remain, I suppose for a lifetime.
While grief may not easily be obliterated, it does change. My grief is not today what it was one year ago today. In years to come grief will continue to fade, even while it keeps a light attachment to my heart. I can resist it, reject it, or accept it. I can lay my head on a stone pillow of grief, or I can let a stream of grief run its course. At first it crashes and thrashes. But eventually it trickles—through a widened, expanded, grace-filled heart.
Oh God, grief is so very real. It does not easily go away, but I thank You that it changes. Thank You for the gentle healing of time. Let me not sleep in bitterness, grated by grief. But let me be enlarged and softened by its flow.